Santa Clause - The latest Victim in the Madoff Ponzi Fraud
The list of victims in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme gets longer by the day. Santa Claus has come forward and admitted he was wiped out by the duplicitous Madoff. In an exclusive interview, Santa said, “It’s all gone. Every last penny. I can’t believe I trusted that horrible little man; he is getting coal for sure this year.”
Putting a brave face on things, Santa went on to explain how easily he had been duped, “We were members of the same Country Club for goodness’ sake. If you can’t trust another member of your club, who can you trust? I shared a shower with the man.”
Apparently, Mrs. Claus had been against the whole thing. “Look him up in the book,” she kept saying, “If it seems to good to be true, it probably is,” was one of her refrains over the last few years as the profits kept mounting up against all the odds.
“I wish I had listened to her now,” said Santa, “but it’s too late. I am wiped out. Everything is going. The yachts in Dubai and Monaco, the Ski lodge in Aspen, the private island, everything! I might be able to hang on to the Manhattan condo, but my broker tells me I could never shift it in this market anyway.”
Santa went on to explain in detail the lengths Madoff had gone to to keep drawing money in. The returns just kept coming, and Santa was persuaded to keep on re-investing the profits. Santa vowed to continue the charitable works he has performed in the past. Like many victims of the scheme, Santa lives for his charitable donations – giving Christmas presents to worthy children around the world – but it looks as though those days may be gone.
“I will do my best,” said Santa, “I don’t want to disappoint any little children, but the pressure is on this year. Some children may just have to accept a smaller present this year, but I will make sure every one gets one.”
The financial situation isn’t helping either, with factories in China slowing production, and credit still tight, Santa may not be able to raise the funds. The growing awareness of global warming issues is also adding to the burden. “People just aren’t prepared to buy unnecessary frivolities that cause environmental damage this year,” said Santa, shaking his head sadly. “I don’t know what I am going to do really.”
We wish Santa all the best, and hope he manages to recover from this dispicable con as soon as possible. If any one is deserving of a bailout, surely it is Santa?
Merry Christmas. 
