Christie’s Auction House to Sell Queen of Mean’s Property

If you’re disappointed that you may not get your shot at Neverland, don’t distress. There’s plenty of celebrity property out there to covet. And if you have a few extra ducats, you may want to check out Christie’s sale of Leona Helmsley’s property (keyword search: helmsley).

Helmsley wanted her property sold and the proceeds to benefit her charitable trust — but not before $12 million went to her canine, Trouble. (Talk about going to the dogs.) But since we don’t care about doggie bones (unless they’re diamond-encrusted) or dog houses (unless they’re designed by Dior), let’s talk about the luxury items that are for sale. Get your credit cards ready, kids. We’re going shopping.

First we have a Napoleon III Mahogany Jewelry Casket. Estimates run around $4-6K. It has ivory pulls, which means some countries won’t even let you import it. I guess that’s no problem in the US, since it’s already here. It would make a nice little place to hold your bangles and baubles (and beads).

Moving on up the list a little, we have an Italian white marble garden bench (late 19th century). Why this is just perfect for collecting bird poop in your back yard, now isn’t it? It looks like the collection may have already started, too. Awesome. This baby will set you back around $25-35K.

Next we have a slightly more useful bit of Helmsley leftovers with a Royal Copenhagen ‘Floria Danica’ part dinner service. This will come in handy for all the high-falutin’ parties that you’ll be throwing this summer, right? Of course, my darlings. Only the best will do when your mother-in-law comes over. Try $70-90K for these prizes. Now we’re talking.

How about a two-for-one deal? You can buy a pair of French Ormolu-Mounted ebony and lacquered Commodes a Vantaux. It always sounds more expensive in French, doesn’t it? The aprons, feet and marble tops were added after 1959. Normally, adjustments like that would lower the value of the cases, which are circa 1882. But for some reason, it doesn’t seem to have affected them that much. Does the owner’s notoriety have something to do with it? We’re not sure. If you hear something from the Antiques Road Show, let us know will you? You can expect to drop around $150-250K on these lovelies.

But of course we saved the best for last, my pretties. Now this may just look like a sleeping bovine to some of you, but trust us, it’s not. That green color comes from jade, a highly sought-after stone. And that’s a water buffalo. Duh. Actually, this is supposed to be a rare figure from the 17th or 18th century. In China, the buffalo is associated with strength, prosperity and tranquility. And it represents one of the Chinese calendar years, the year of the ox. Hey, wait a minute, that’s MY birth year. I guess I’ll have to fight you for it. Oh wait, there’s that tiny detail of a price tag. We almost forgot. Let’s hope your American Express is truly unlimited because this puppy buffalo will set you back a cool $400-600K.

Let’s not all stampede at once, darlings. Oh, and each sale has a different date, so check closely. And have fun shopping!