Well, here we go again, kiddies. Once again Michael Jackson is reporting that his Neverland Ranch has been saved from foreclosure. The loan was bought by Colony Capital, a real estate investment firm.

The $23-24 million loan was previously held by Fortress Investment Group. And we all remember the drama involved in that deal, don’t we? They were ready to foreclose and the property was slated for the auction block on May 14.

But Jackson was in negotiations with Colony. Reuters reports that Colony is “very comfortable” holding the loan and negotiating payment. Really? With whom? Jacko certainly isn’t bringing in the bucks like he used to. So where is he going to get money for this?

We have no idea, darlings. Just no idea. But we do still wonder if someone will restore Neverland to its former glory, or just redevelop it within an inch of its life.

We had last heard that Michael Jackson had made a deal to save his neglected Neverland, but the newest dish is that he didn’t exactly refinance his $24+ million loan.

Fox 411 reports that a foreclosure is still scheduled for the declining property. In fact, the public auction is set for May 14 in Santa Barbara.

Looks like one of Jacko’s lawyers made a teensy-tiny error with the statement that a deal was made. Instead, there’s only a two-month extension on the auction. So developers can go back to salivating over this prime property. Oh, the greedy development dreams they must be having!

Apparently a group in LA has funded an escrow account with $46 million to make a refinance deal with MJ on Neverland. But while they thought they were working with Jacko’s people, it’s rumored that it was Jackson’s former manager Raymone Bain behind the chaos — and MJ knew nothing about it!

It’s a confusing mess over there, with new reports coming in all the time. Jackson’s going to sell Neverland. No, he’ll never let it go. He’s going to refinance. No, he can’t. Wait, there’s a deal in line! Never mind, that was a crazy scheme by someone else!

So is the LA group going to make a deal? We’re not sure, but the escrow account is apparently still funded. The Real Estalker reports yet another rumor that MJ managed to get his loan at Fortress restructured. We’re just as skeptical about the rumored deals as RE is, though, considering such a large sum of money is at stake. It’s doubtful that a big old finance company would want to keep giving breaks to MJ when there’s so much money to be had in the deal.

Will Jackson sell the property before the auction? Oh darlings, it’s anyone’s guess at this point. The behind-the-scenes shenanigans are enough to give us a headache. Jacko just continues to attract the drama, doesn’t he?

Photo by robstephaustralia licensed under Creative Commons.

Christie’s Auction House to Sell Queen of Mean’s Property

If you’re disappointed that you may not get your shot at Neverland, don’t distress. There’s plenty of celebrity property out there to covet. And if you have a few extra ducats, you may want to check out Christie’s sale of Leona Helmsley’s property (keyword search: helmsley).

Helmsley wanted her property sold and the proceeds to benefit her charitable trust — but not before $12 million went to her canine, Trouble. (Talk about going to the dogs.) But since we don’t care about doggie bones (unless they’re diamond-encrusted) or dog houses (unless they’re designed by Dior), let’s talk about the luxury items that are for sale. Get your credit cards ready, kids. We’re going shopping.

First we have a Napoleon III Mahogany Jewelry Casket. Estimates run around $4-6K. It has ivory pulls, which means some countries won’t even let you import it. I guess that’s no problem in the US, since it’s already here. It would make a nice little place to hold your bangles and baubles (and beads).

Moving on up the list a little, we have an Italian white marble garden bench (late 19th century). Why this is just perfect for collecting bird poop in your back yard, now isn’t it? It looks like the collection may have already started, too. Awesome. This baby will set you back around $25-35K.

Next we have a slightly more useful bit of Helmsley leftovers with a Royal Copenhagen ‘Floria Danica’ part dinner service. This will come in handy for all the high-falutin’ parties that you’ll be throwing this summer, right? Of course, my darlings. Only the best will do when your mother-in-law comes over. Try $70-90K for these prizes. Now we’re talking.

How about a two-for-one deal? You can buy a pair of French Ormolu-Mounted ebony and lacquered Commodes a Vantaux. It always sounds more expensive in French, doesn’t it? The aprons, feet and marble tops were added after 1959. Normally, adjustments like that would lower the value of the cases, which are circa 1882. But for some reason, it doesn’t seem to have affected them that much. Does the owner’s notoriety have something to do with it? We’re not sure. If you hear something from the Antiques Road Show, let us know will you? You can expect to drop around $150-250K on these lovelies.

But of course we saved the best for last, my pretties. Now this may just look like a sleeping bovine to some of you, but trust us, it’s not. That green color comes from jade, a highly sought-after stone. And that’s a water buffalo. Duh. Actually, this is supposed to be a rare figure from the 17th or 18th century. In China, the buffalo is associated with strength, prosperity and tranquility. And it represents one of the Chinese calendar years, the year of the ox. Hey, wait a minute, that’s MY birth year. I guess I’ll have to fight you for it. Oh wait, there’s that tiny detail of a price tag. We almost forgot. Let’s hope your American Express is truly unlimited because this puppy buffalo will set you back a cool $400-600K.

Let’s not all stampede at once, darlings. Oh, and each sale has a different date, so check closely. And have fun shopping!

In the height of Michael Jackson’s popularity his 2800 acre estate was an amazing example of celebrity excess. It had a zoo, an amusement park, a train, tennis courts, and many other hallmarks of a luxury celebrity property. Little children everywhere dreamed of being invited to Jacko’s Neverland.

When Jacko fell on hard times, so did his beloved Neverland. Recent pictures from an article in The Sun show the sprawling ranch in a sad state of disrepair. The big-top tent is ripped and falling, teepees are torn down, and windows broken in the buildings. So much for a fairytale kingdom.

But a couple of wealthy Brits intend to buy the home before it hits auction, just so Jackson can rent it back from them. And how, pray tell, will he rent the property back from them? He’s up to his eyeballs in debts and has abandoned his ranch. Now who’s living in a fairytale land? The Brit boys are fans of Michael Jackson, saying they might not be where they are today if it weren’t for his music and dance moves. The Real Estalker doesn’t believe that, and we’re not sure we do either. If these boys are tycoons, they should know better than to try and lease it back to the destitute celebrity who abandoned it. Either they really are young and silly, or they’re covering for their real plans for the property.

We can hear the smacking lips of drooling developers as they wait, hoping that the property will hit the auction block on March 19. Imagine how many luxury homes they could squeeze onto 2800 prime acres near Santa Barbara. Almost makes you want to scrape together the money, doesn’t it?

Photo: celebrity-gossip.net

Update: Looks like Jacko may have made a last-minute deal to save his beloved.